Sick of the Never - TanToday - Helping Salon Owners, One At A Time, Since 2000!

banana1614 · 9th June 2005, 03:52 PM

Hey, just wanted SOMETHING in this category. Okay, personal story...this one time at band camp....

missmojorising · 9th June 2005, 04:54 PM

You were molested by a Tuba?

banana1614 · 10th June 2005, 01:21 AM

Hopefully a tuba would be too large an instrument to molest me.

missmojorising · 10th June 2005, 01:44 AM

Hope Springs Eternal.

missmojorising · 11th June 2005, 03:14 PM

Copyright © 1989 Gordon Korman

Because of a short but perilous trip to the bathroom to clean up, you are late for your next class, which is instrumental music. You rush into the music room, your heart set on a saxophone. They are taken. Your second choice, trumpets, are all in other hands. Ditto, trombones and clarinets. Okay, sacrifice the macho and go for the flute or piccolo. All taken. As a matter of fact, there is only one vacant chair, one instrument at rest. Face it, you are stuck with the tuba.
As you strain to pick it up, you feel your innards drop. You make a mental note to ask your next of kin if your health insurance extends to hernia. The teacher explains how to blow into a tuba. You draw a mighty breath, put your mouth to the mouthpiece (did the guy in period one have pellagra?), and blow until you start to black out. Not a sound. A big cheer goes up from the class as you and the tuba clatter to the floor. The teacher then informs you that, for destruction of an instrument, you will be charged a reasonable sum---in the case of a tuba, about eight hundred dollars. He explains that the instruments may be borrowed for additional practice at home. You have a giddy vision of yourself hauling this brass behemoth onto the bus and being charged another fare for it. Does a tuba qualify for the student discount? Idly, you wonder how your next of kin will take to an evening of oom-pah-pah.

9th June 2005, 03:52 PM	#1 (permalink)
banana1614 All Star Join Date: May 2005 Location: TX Posts: 76	Sick of the Never Hey, just wanted SOMETHING in this category. Okay, personal story...this one time at band camp....

9th June 2005, 04:54 PM	#2 (permalink)
missmojorising Hall of Famer Join Date: May 2005 Location: Simplytantexas Posts: 1,645	You were molested by a Tuba? __________________ "Analyzing humor is like dissecting a frog: Nobody really enjoys it and the frog generally dies as a result." E.B. White Mojo's Motto; Hire A Professional Consultant.

10th June 2005, 01:44 AM	#4 (permalink)
missmojorising Hall of Famer Join Date: May 2005 Location: Simplytantexas Posts: 1,645	Hope Springs Eternal. __________________ "Analyzing humor is like dissecting a frog: Nobody really enjoys it and the frog generally dies as a result." E.B. White Mojo's Motto; Hire A Professional Consultant.

11th June 2005, 03:14 PM	#5 (permalink)
missmojorising Hall of Famer Join Date: May 2005 Location: Simplytantexas Posts: 1,645	Copyright © 1989 Gordon Korman Because of a short but perilous trip to the bathroom to clean up, you are late for your next class, which is instrumental music. You rush into the music room, your heart set on a saxophone. They are taken. Your second choice, trumpets, are all in other hands. Ditto, trombones and clarinets. Okay, sacrifice the macho and go for the flute or piccolo. All taken. As a matter of fact, there is only one vacant chair, one instrument at rest. Face it, you are stuck with the tuba. As you strain to pick it up, you feel your innards drop. You make a mental note to ask your next of kin if your health insurance extends to hernia. The teacher explains how to blow into a tuba. You draw a mighty breath, put your mouth to the mouthpiece (did the guy in period one have pellagra?), and blow until you start to black out. Not a sound. A big cheer goes up from the class as you and the tuba clatter to the floor. The teacher then informs you that, for destruction of an instrument, you will be charged a reasonable sum---in the case of a tuba, about eight hundred dollars. He explains that the instruments may be borrowed for additional practice at home. You have a giddy vision of yourself hauling this brass behemoth onto the bus and being charged another fare for it. Does a tuba qualify for the student discount? Idly, you wonder how your next of kin will take to an evening of oom-pah-pah. __________________ "Analyzing humor is like dissecting a frog: Nobody really enjoys it and the frog generally dies as a result." E.B. White Mojo's Motto; Hire A Professional Consultant.

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10th June 2005, 01:21 AM	#3 (permalink)
banana1614 All Star Join Date: May 2005 Location: TX Posts: 76	Hopefully a tuba would be too large an instrument to molest me.